She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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