She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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