We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
