you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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