Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
