I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
