So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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