3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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