so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
