yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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