After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
