i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
