What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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