Hey man sorry I got all grabby
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
