There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
