Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
