before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I just want nice things and good sex
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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