so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
