Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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