Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
