so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
