spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
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