Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
