May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
When are your genitals available?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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