think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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