I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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