she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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