if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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