I wish my penis had an off switch
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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