I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize
