dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
He kissed a someone with a penis
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
