me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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