im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize