Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
