So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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