White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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