I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Dicks are not precious.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
