It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
