these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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