no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
