yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
