Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
