Already got asked if we're dating
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
