On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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