Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
