How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
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