I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
