Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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