i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize