White coat. Heels.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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