She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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