How'd it feel making her break her religion?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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