No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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