sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
