drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
