Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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