K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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