I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
