Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
