even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
What happened to fro yo and sex?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
