You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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