...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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