it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
