just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
