Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
