he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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