If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
