You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Soap is not a condiment
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
