So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
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