is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize