So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
