even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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