We won't sleep together?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
