She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Who died my cat blue again?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
