At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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