A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
